As of late the common theme among the community of people I spend my life with has had to do with God taking away something we perceive as "good" and the results of those actions. The one common thing I always here in the waking moments after loss is: "It doesn't make any sense! Why would this happen?” Obviously you can lean on scripture verses such as "No good thing does He withhold from those who walk with him." and many others to realize that God has a different, better plan. We could discuss his creation plan for our lives and the goodness He promises us and the many guarantees He has given us for prosperity and hope. However, I'm more interested in the aspect here that deals with human understanding, our inability to see the whole picture, and the resultant frustrations of not understanding why "the pain" is happening.
Yes, it all comes down to faith when things are taken away. Can I really believe that He's got something better planned for me? Is God holding back on me? Is this even all real? I've seen people as of late hit such a rock bottom that they don't believe the sun will shine again in their lives. We read through biblical promises and pray feverishly, but the knowledge is stuck in their brains and hasn't come true in their hearts.
This is probably one of the many reasons God puts us all through these things in the first place - to cultivate our faith. I told one good friend last night that I can't wait until God's promises come true in His life. I am so eager to see God bring this man the promise of “something better.” The day when our knowledge becomes wisdom through experience is one of joy and amazement.
As men, one of the key aspects that burdens our soul is our inability to make sense of the situation. We tire from trying to get over the issues and just trusting God because we lack exact factual understanding for the loss. This is mainly because we can't see the whole picture and because we lack faith - we don't believe that today's "let-down" will lead to tomorrow's "joy." However, there is one other aspect to this equation that I believe leads to considerable amounts of pain for us. We are rational and we want to fix things. Our inability to understand the whys of our issues gets us caught in the centrifugal force of our mind's search for a reason. We got back and forth, revisiting the issues, looking for clear understanding.
Just as God brought about order from chaos in the universe (laws of motion, gravity, force, etc.,) men aim to bring about order to the chaos of our lives. This can only be done by understanding the problem at hand. For, how can you fix the problem if you don't exactly what caused the problem in the first place? As men we plead with God for revelation and understanding. We ask him to show us the reasons why. We demand answers, a rational breakdown of events, and full explanation of the facts. We then aim to fix the problem, protect our pride, and thus show our worth.
However, I believe God's love for us is shone exceedingly bright in his refusal to tell us. Most of the bigger problems in life hit without any clues to the whys. They leave us blindsided. We end up on our knees demanding an answer and none is given.
For us men, this is the nicest things God can do. For, if we knew the reason why, we’d go and fix it. I know I would. If I understood the facts behind why they didn’t hire me or why she didn’t call back, I’d go and try to fix the problem and keep heading down the road I’m not supposed to go down. Therefore, we should be thankful God doesn’t give us all the details. We’d only follow our wicked hearts down the wrong path and leave our God behind. God knows there is nothing better than His plan and I know there is little that keeps me from running after my own plan. Well, unless I am completely unaware of how to make my plan work. Thank you God for withholding those details and making my path straight.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Pneuma-Psuche
Well.... I embark on yet another road I used to sway away from. I can add this to rims on my car in high school, dating certain girls in college, facebook, cleaning up my life, loving Jesus, and Twitter. I seem to eventually follow the things that I distain. Anyway, here I am writing my thoughts down for the world to read. I wonder if this is anything less than pure pride, but then I remember that you came here on your own and that I never promised you anything good, wise, or important. I guess, at the end of the day, like most things in my former life: This isn't for you. It’s for me.
The days of late have been a mixture between perfect and terrible. The circumstances of the past week have brought about great prosperity and hope, as well as rejection and humility. I got a 2 year plan approved at work but got another 2 year plan at home returned to sender. I have a friend who wanted to kill herself, a buddy who's father is possibly dying, and a world around me that looks to be rotting away. I have a soul that can't be filled with trophies, attention, a loving family, money, cars, or abilities. I realize now why self-esteem is such an issue in this country, as my own 27 years of constructed worth yields a happiness and joy that come and go like a distant uncle you only know or experience during the holidays or family weddings.
I'm sure its the same for you. Every day is different and in a weird way pointless. You may have moments of happiness, but its always here and now. Its always something that will be. The "pursuit" of happiness, as if its always on the frontier and tomorrow of your life. "When I get that job, get my wife, receive that degree, etc." Happiness never seems to be a completed act in my life, with daily joy that cannot waiver. After some time you get dead tired chasing it down. Maybe that’s why my friend wants to take her own life, because today's joy is found in a tomorrow that has no guarantee it will come. And, if our tomorrow does arrive, our joy is limited and quickly dissipates like the morning fog. So, we grab on to everything we can to hopefully capture some sort of happiness and meaning - which always fades away much like the very time we've spent on our conquest.
The former events are from recent times, but the thought process is from the first 24 years of life. I spent years trying to figure out "what I am doing here?" What's the point of my life? Why did I just end up in some small town in Iowa with a father who didn't want to be around and an anger inside of me that wouldn't be quenched by any type of success or accomplishment? Whatever your demons are in you life, I'm sure they lead you to the same place: What the heck is this "life" all about? Am I really supposed to just work for 30 more years, retire, relax, and die? Is that all this is about.
Sure, the cynics will talk about seeking love, having kids, raising a "good family," and "doing your best," and "giving your all." But, I am here to ask: Where does that get you? If that's the answer and the millions before me accomplished that, then why is this world falling apart? Why does there seem to be such a hole in everyone's life that their default is to completely disengage in life.
If we really are here for a moment…..Why is everyone trying to escape?
They either drink their lives way, work their lives away, or build up this facade to show the world who they "really are," even though the facade never seems to represent the true signposts of their real life: pains, fears, hurts, angers, frustrations, and pure inability to define the exact Truth to what their life really means.
Well, I thought the same things and it haunted me into becoming a terrible man whose future would have certainly mirrored that of a bad husband and father. For, how am I supposed to know how to live my life if I'm not told why I'm here? Does anything work if its not used how it was created to be used?
Then someone told me about God. A plan. A reason. They showed me versus in the bible like: "I am the way, the life, and the truth."
It floored me. Sure, you can easily ignore a sentence in a book. But, then again...what if this was Truth? What then? How can someone say they are "The Life." Heck, that's what I've spent most of my life trying to figure out. Wouldn't it be foolish to then ignore this comment made by Jesus thousands of years ago?
The days of late have been a mixture between perfect and terrible. The circumstances of the past week have brought about great prosperity and hope, as well as rejection and humility. I got a 2 year plan approved at work but got another 2 year plan at home returned to sender. I have a friend who wanted to kill herself, a buddy who's father is possibly dying, and a world around me that looks to be rotting away. I have a soul that can't be filled with trophies, attention, a loving family, money, cars, or abilities. I realize now why self-esteem is such an issue in this country, as my own 27 years of constructed worth yields a happiness and joy that come and go like a distant uncle you only know or experience during the holidays or family weddings.
I'm sure its the same for you. Every day is different and in a weird way pointless. You may have moments of happiness, but its always here and now. Its always something that will be. The "pursuit" of happiness, as if its always on the frontier and tomorrow of your life. "When I get that job, get my wife, receive that degree, etc." Happiness never seems to be a completed act in my life, with daily joy that cannot waiver. After some time you get dead tired chasing it down. Maybe that’s why my friend wants to take her own life, because today's joy is found in a tomorrow that has no guarantee it will come. And, if our tomorrow does arrive, our joy is limited and quickly dissipates like the morning fog. So, we grab on to everything we can to hopefully capture some sort of happiness and meaning - which always fades away much like the very time we've spent on our conquest.
The former events are from recent times, but the thought process is from the first 24 years of life. I spent years trying to figure out "what I am doing here?" What's the point of my life? Why did I just end up in some small town in Iowa with a father who didn't want to be around and an anger inside of me that wouldn't be quenched by any type of success or accomplishment? Whatever your demons are in you life, I'm sure they lead you to the same place: What the heck is this "life" all about? Am I really supposed to just work for 30 more years, retire, relax, and die? Is that all this is about.
Sure, the cynics will talk about seeking love, having kids, raising a "good family," and "doing your best," and "giving your all." But, I am here to ask: Where does that get you? If that's the answer and the millions before me accomplished that, then why is this world falling apart? Why does there seem to be such a hole in everyone's life that their default is to completely disengage in life.
If we really are here for a moment…..Why is everyone trying to escape?
They either drink their lives way, work their lives away, or build up this facade to show the world who they "really are," even though the facade never seems to represent the true signposts of their real life: pains, fears, hurts, angers, frustrations, and pure inability to define the exact Truth to what their life really means.
Well, I thought the same things and it haunted me into becoming a terrible man whose future would have certainly mirrored that of a bad husband and father. For, how am I supposed to know how to live my life if I'm not told why I'm here? Does anything work if its not used how it was created to be used?
Then someone told me about God. A plan. A reason. They showed me versus in the bible like: "I am the way, the life, and the truth."
It floored me. Sure, you can easily ignore a sentence in a book. But, then again...what if this was Truth? What then? How can someone say they are "The Life." Heck, that's what I've spent most of my life trying to figure out. Wouldn't it be foolish to then ignore this comment made by Jesus thousands of years ago?
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