Disappointment

If you're alive you're disappointed. You've been let down, rejected, or hurt at some point. You may, much like the old me, be completely ignoring it, but nonetheless you're struggling with disappointment. It's ok. This is a good start. For you that bounce around the world pretending that everything is always great; you're bouncing around in a world that doesn't exist.

I'm not depressed, I just understand the magnitude of this fallen sometimes terrible world. I see a glimpse of how things were supposed to be and how they will be one day. God tells us "Behold, I Make All Things New (Rev. 21:5)." Our hearts long for that and this is evident in the way we live our lives: the disappointment we carry and our deep longings that are left unmet.

If you're like the old me you might already notice that no amount of money, cars, or success will ever meet that deeper desire that you can't quite identify, but know is there. The world tells you to work your way up, as if getting to the top provides the solution, or to gain security by making and saving enough money. I've found that living this way provides more pressure than joy and any feelings of success are pretty shallow and short-lived. Do you just wish for whatever reason that things were just different or better? If so, you're on the right path. You've began to realize that, as Switchfoot (and the Bible) says: "We Were Meant To Live For So Much More" (http://tinyurl.com/2fauukc).

Until we grasp how deeply we long for what we do not have our enjoyment of life's pleasures is defensive. We will depend on them to obscure the emptiness of our soul. To the degree we keenly feel the painful disappointment of unsatisfied longings we're able to ask no more of life's pleasures than they're capable of providing. Then and only then can we fully enjoy them and appreciate which is to come for those who love God: "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." - Romans 21:4.

Recognizing our disapointments and unmet deep desires proves that we indeed live in a sinful, messy world. Not by running away, but by facing the pains of our childhoods, relationships, jobs, and other aspect of our life we reveal our deep pain of being let down. Through this recognition we become aware of our sin and inability to love or be loved the way we need. The proper response to this realization is to repent and turn to God for forgiveness for the pain we've caused others. As my favorite movie "Into the Wild" quotes "To forgive is to love and when we love God's light shines on us." My whole life is based upon hoping that somehow I can show you that you'll find nothing this world offers that comes close to feeling His love. All else is child's play.

If you're a female you might be disappointed with men's ability to only care how you look versus how you're doing. You're probably longing for a man who is strong enough to handle your emotions and longings without them retreating or feeling threatened; You're looking for a man strong enough to serve you while leading you. A man who's not trying to just figure you out, but one who lives to enjoy your full femininity.

If you're a man you might be tired of trying to prove yourself to the world every single day or let down that your latest success or acquisition still hasn't led to any kind of long term fulfillment or peace. We either become a machine, going through the motions every day, never interacting with our own thoughts, feelings, or desires, trying to get to some destination that doesn't really exist. Or, we try to make God a vending machine that gives us what we want. Either way, you're not truly alive. At least not in the way God intended you to be when you were made.

The lie that boys are being fed, much like I was, is that being a man is being tough, emotionless, and unwavering. But, I ask you this- Is it harder to ignore problems or work through them? We live in a word where men are still acting like boys and the women are tired of it.

If you think masculinity has anything to do with sex, excessive drinking, swearing or fear, you're falling short of the man God made you to be. These are the top ways to disengage and ignore your disappointment. Most people are too scared or confused about how to face their pains, but doing so is the only way to let God heal your hurt. It's like I tell my d-group kids: Part of being a man is doing the hard things, which will be evident in how different those things are from what everyone else is doing. For example, anyone can go make fun of the poor smelly kid, but as a Christian you are called to go be his friend. Just like sex, excessive drinking, or every other way to disengage from reality - anyone (and most everyone) can live that life style. Masculinity is more about displaying the courage it takes to run towards issues, and thus openly admit that you don't have it all together or have all the answers.

Running from the disappointments of this world lead us into a fairytale where nothing we experience is real or worthy. Our lives have no depth and we can, therefore, make little impact of significance or meaning. True Masculinity is a heart issue and not something you can acquire, buy, or obtain but something we have to turn to God to re-create in us.

Being alive isn't about retracting from pain. It's about stewarding it well. Our pain reveals our longings to be the people we were created to be - fully loved and accepted, pain free, and sinless. We weren't created to be self serving, consumeristic slaves who are owned by material goods. We weren't made to be a people who's lives are a tapestry of self-protection and disengagement, hiding from each other, ourselves, and God the true pains and longings of our hearts. That's not freedom. It's slavery.

Reinventing yourself or starting over is the same as running. Life is supposed to be painful. God proved that on the cross and throughout His life. Why is life supposed to be painful? Because we don't change until the pain of staying the same exceeds the pain of changing.

However, most live to avoid pain, which results in a life of total self-preservation. Whether it be to build your "brand" (http://tinyurl.com/3xzlqor), to build your life on acquisitions of material goods, to disengage from confrontation or pain, or to ignore the issues of this world, all are more than adequate means to miss a life of being fulfilled. To avoid pain or to be made much of have no direct correlation with happiness.

The basis of all our fears is we've lost our identity. If you knew, as I do, that you're God's child and when you let Him perfectly love you it changes you from the inside out. No longer do you have to prove who you are to the world, but you can rest in His love. God tells us that perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18). Can you imagine a world where people are not longer afraid of failure, let-downs, pain, rejection, or death? Sound a lot life heaven? Well, it is. And heaven can start in your heart the moment you let Jesus in.

We steward our pain and disappointment by letting God in through repentance. This is the only hope for change. It will first start with our decisions, then our relationships, then in our very being. I think this sounds attractive, even to those of you who hate God or currently have nothing to do with Him. However, he made you and only He possesses the knowledge of how to change you from the inside out. The process starts by repenting: a deep change of mind about the source of life.

Repentance means to accept the truth that life without God is no life at all and to, therefore, pursue God with all the passion of someone who has been rescued from unimaginable horror. That's the good news- He sent a SAVIOR, not a HELPER. If you're still in a place where you think you just need some help or no help at all then I fear and morn for you because you're living in disillusionment and soon your world is going to come crashing down. The effect of sin is death. Without God at our side we are helpless to live. For, if God is life (Jesus said He's the way, the truth, and the life), and we are separated from God, then we truly are dead already. But, that's why God sent Christ to live the life we should have lived and to die the death we should have died.

Therefore, we have full access to have a personal relationship for God. We can know Him as brother, friend, and father, and when your soul comes alive as you feel His unconditional love you feel your full worth. The disappointments and pain of this world become signposts for what is to come. Today's desires prove tomorrow's fulfillment. The shadow proves the sunshine.

You desire more than what this world can give you. There is disappointment because your heart longs for something more. As C.S Lewis puts it "If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."

Cling to truth: There is a God. He freaking loves you so much he died by way of flogging (http://tiny.cc/deaeg), nails, and a tree. There is no worse way to die. It's the climax to the greatest love story ever told. Who else would go to that length to have you? Only the One that went to the great lengths to make you in the first place. His love drowns out disappointment. When light shines, darkness hides.

God's inviting you to come home. Home to Him.